How To Talk To Girls
How to talk to girls? A question every guy has asked himself. It’s your goal to impress a camgirl online, and to show her how amazing you are. However, you don’t know how to begin the conversation or what topics to discuss. This is not a common problem. It can be difficult to talk to girls online, but it is actually quite simple.
1. The 6 best things to talk to girls about
What should you say to a girl when you first start talking to her? What are girls most interested in?
These are six topics that are easy and fun to spark a conversation.
- Movies, music or books. Find out what you have in common.
- Goals and dreams (What is she aiming to do in the future?)
- Family (Where is she from? Does she have siblings?)
- Travel (Does she already have travel plans?) Which is the coolest place she has ever visited?
- Work or school? (What class/whom does she prefer to work with/what is her preferred job)
- What she enjoys doing with her spare time
These topics are great for starting off because almost all girls have something to share about them. Once you have started to talk to girls, you can move on and build a cam to cam conversation further.
These topics can be great for starting a conversation if you run out of ideas.
2. How to stop worrying about talking to cute girls
Some of us freeze up when we talk to girls we like. Even worse if we got a crush on her.
We can feel nervous about starting to talk with a girl.
- It seems like there is more at stake
- We are afraid of being rejected
- We lack the experience to talk to girls.
- When we see a pretty girl that we like, we become more self-conscious.
Three tricks I use to combat nerviness and shyness
A. Focus on the girl instead of on yourself
This is done by focusing on the girl’s words, feelings, and what she wants. These are the things you should be asking yourself. Find out who she is.
It’s magical when you shift your focus from yourself towards her. You will notice a decrease in your nerviness, and self-consciousness. Your brain cannot focus on two things simultaneously. If you are able to focus on the girl, your brain will be able to stay present and avoid extreme nerviness.
B. It is better to be slightly nervous than none at all
You can feel a little nervous, which can cause tension and intensity. This tension can improve the chemistry between you two.
If your voice shakes a bit, it won’t cause her to turn off. It makes the interaction more interesting and authentic. This signals to the girl that you are interested in her.
Nerviness refers to our body’s response to new situations. It serves the psychological function by making us more creative, and wittier.
We can stop worrying about being afraid when we recognize that nerviness exists to assist us.
C. Act even if you’re nervous
We don’t have to be afraid of doing something. Even if you are shaking your voice, it is possible to still make eye contact with the girl you’re interested in.
This powerful mindset is known as acting in fear by behavioral scientists. It is OK to feel nervous, but still do the things you fear. This is how you can conquer your fear.
Fear can make it seem like a warning to stop. In reality, fear can be a sign of good things ahead: that we will do something that will help our growth as individuals.
Fear is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are growing.
3. Treat girls the same way you would treat friends
We often feel the need to present ourselves as confident, smart, and attractive to girls we are attracted to when we speak to them.
We lock ourselves in when we attempt to solve this seemingly impossible problem. We become less attractive as a result.
Problem is, we place the girl in “girlfriend bucket” while everyone else goes to “friend bucket”. We need to make it easier for girls to get along with us by putting them in our “friend bucket”.
Do this: Smile, chat, and interact like you would with strangers with girls. Do not try to be funny, intelligent, or attractive.
Is this to say that flirty interactions with girls you are attracted to don’t count? This is not what this is all about. It’s not about trying to do things differently because you are attracted to someone. Exercising too much can lead to disaster.
6 Signs that you are being strange when speaking to girls:
- It is too nice
- Not being polite enough
- Not being too confident
- Being cold
- Be smart
- Be confident
Be friendly and treat the girl as you would any other person. You can consider the girl as a possible girlfriend if you feel there is chemistry.
4. How to tell if a girl is interested in you
These are the most common signs that she has a crush on me.
- Even if your jokes are bad, she’ll still laugh at them
- She liked your posts on Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook.
- She shared your story with her family and friends
- She is flirting or playing with you.
- You are able to keep eye contact with her for longer than usual
- When you speak, she touches your skin
- When you spend time with her, she is more shy
- She pays you more attention than other people
5. Do not try to prove you are worthy of her affection.
Many guys make the error of trying to be the perfect man for the girl.
They think: “What should they say to make her love me?”
This is a very unattractive way to think. It puts her on a pedestal. If you “prove” you are worthy, all the great things you have about yourself become repelling.
This is what I love to do. I assume that I am worthy by default.
This allows me to focus on her worthiness and my standards.
This can be done by having a normal back-and forth conversation. Your main purpose is to find out if she likes you. This will help you feel more comfortable talking to her.
If you are able to like her, it will be a natural step for you to ask her out or get her number.
6. Keeping suspense can increase attraction
You can combine excitement and uncertainty to create suspense. You can increase her attraction by keeping them in suspense.
She will be able to tell you that you are always there for her, so she can give you compliments and get your full attention. It’s boring and it kills the excitement.
You can show her that you are interested in her by giving her enough attention and compliments. But she won’t know for sure. Because the human brain craves clarity, this will make her think more about you.
This doesn’t work only for girls. These girls are the ones I was most infatuated with.
7. Matching investments can keep her interested.
This principle refers to matching her investment in your conversation (or relationship) with hers. If she is open about her life, you can do the same by sharing as much. If she isn’t opening up, it’s probably best to not tell her the whole story of your life.
The principle of matching investments also applies to other aspects, such as how long and how often you write messages. Or how often you communicate with her via social media.
She will feel pressured to respond to you if you keep texting her. Too much pressure on her can be a problem because it takes the fun out of your relationship. Responding to her can feel like a chore, rather than something exciting and fun.
You can message her as often or little as she likes. Your communication will feel mutually relaxed and mutual. She won’t feel stressed or pressured to answer you.
Example: You can message her as many times per day as you like. If she doesn’t message you, don’t bother. This will avoid putting too much pressure on your partner to reciprocate.
This is a tie-in with keeping suspense, as we discussed earlier. You don’t have to give her everything. Give her just enough to keep her interested.
8. Attract people by being non-reactive, not trying to please
You may start to notice girls complaining about you, teasing or nagging when you are learning how to talk to girls. Perhaps they don’t like your outfit or question your lifestyle choices. Or they are unhappy with your haircut.
This is usually subconscious behavior and happens because she is interested in you. It can be frustrating for her if you try to please her by reacting. It shows confidence in your own abilities to be non-reactive.
Example: A girl complains over your haircut.
The best thing to do in this situation is to let her know that you are happy with your haircut, and that she doesn’t have any negative opinions about you.
Non-reactive responses could include not paying attention to what she says, or laughing at it because it was funny. It doesn’t matter if you try to please her.
9. Do not try to be funny or entertaining.
This is what most inexperienced men do wrong. Inexperienced men think it’s important to keep conversations interesting and fun, but they neglect basic conversational rules. This can lead to awkward or unfavorable conversations.
If the girl you are talking to is uncomfortable speaking to you, even the most interesting topic will not help.
You’re halfway there if you can have a normal conversation with her that makes her feel relaxed and comfortable.
10. Do not try to be “alpha” and “mysterious”.
Here’s another area where guys make a big mistake (which I have also been guilty).
This is when you try to portray the role of an “alpha” and/or “mysterious”. Problem is, when we attempt to imitate alpha-behavior we end up looking fake and insincere.
Too many men in clubs try to be someone they’re not. You’re also not yourself when you try to be the alpha.
It’s the same with men trying to be mysterious.
This is ironic because there is an easy solution. You can just have a relaxed, normal conversation without worrying about picking up any ideas.
Many girls long for a man with whom they can have fun, normal conversations.
You will be more confident and attractive if you can have a normal conversation without trying to pretend you’re another person with a girl.
11. How to talk to girls and take the next step
How can you make sure that your conversation leads somewhere?
It is easy to get bogged down in entertaining and making conversation. You forget or don’t dare to take the next step. It’s something I have done over 100 times. I was the master of excuses.
What I mean by the next step is to ask for her number/Facebook/Snapchat, ask her on a date/activity, or going from light physical touch to the first kiss.
My friend was a good friend and I still remember the day he met his girlfriend. We all hung out together in large groups. He was going to shoot hoops with his best friend when it was time for him to go.
Then he casually asked the girl that he liked if he wanted to join them. She did. They began dating within days. And weeks after that they were boyfriend-girlfriend.
The lesson learned: Do it. You can take the initiative to ask her out. If she agrees, great. If she doesn’t say yes, it’s great because you now know what to do.
How do we decide WHEN to move on to the next step?
Is it normal to ask someone out on a date or take their number?
My rule of thumb is: Take the next step when you feel the conversation is moving in the right direction or it feels natural.
How do you know when conversation feels good?
When you have a great time talking and feel a sense of connection, it is the right time. It could be as simple as her feeling that he is normal and they share some things in common.
It’s not easy to take initiative with someone you have a crush on. It can be really difficult. You’ll regret not trying. You’ll always be grateful that you tried, even if things didn’t work out your way.
12. How to overcome fear of rejection
At the age of 18, I had never kissed a girl. I was afraid of making a move, and being rejected. I believed that rejection would mean that I was unsuitable for a girl.
I thought I would wait for a girl who was interested in me to move on. It would happen if I was attractive enough.
Problem was, and is still:
Many girls fear rejection just like we do.
If you aren’t willing to take responsibility for your life, chances of you ever meeting someone you love are very slim. Many girls are timid when it comes taking the initiative.
Recognizing my fear of being rejected was what helped me overcome it. It was easy to see how my fear about rejection kept me from meeting a girl that I loved.
I had to push my limits and be clear about my intentions towards girls I liked. Nothing would have happened if I didn’t take initiative and was afraid of being rejected.
To overcome my fear, I realized that I needed to be put in situations where I was rejected.
I was a big fan of online dating and I also spoke to random girls that I had met during my day. I even challenged myself to go out with random girls on a date.
Even though I was often rejected, I still considered it a victory every time I tried. Each rejection helped me overcome my fears and gave me more confidence talking to girls. Each rejection helped me grow in courage.
Mindset: Thinking logically about rejection
It’s not the worst thing that could happen, if we stop and think about it. The girl politely declined to give her number in 99 of the 100 rejections she has made. After some friendly words, it was over.
You know what? Being rejected like that rocks!
I have never regretted asking for the number of a girl and getting one. I always feel proud of what I did. I always learned something that would help me succeed next time.
In reality, I have been rejected over a thousand times. If I had not allowed myself to be rejected so many time, I wouldn’t have ever met my girlfriend of 7+years.
Although rejection sounds dramatic, it is really just a semi-awkward conversation. The world is always moving on. You will too.
13. How often should you stay in touch with and talk to girls?
When deciding how often to communicate with your partner, there are two principles you must balance.
Strike while the iron is still hot. This is the first principle . Do not wait too long for her to forget about you or assume you are uninterested. You want her to remember you clearly and to think about you.
If you did this, you’d probably appear too excited and intense. Too eager would indicate that you don’t have much else going on and would be a turnoff for most girls.
To balance all this, the second principle is needed: giving her space and time to express her feelings.
If you allow her to think and wait, she will begin to look forward to your next message or call.
Calling her within two days of getting her number is a good way to strike a good balance.
14. Do not declare your love or feelings too soon
This one has been repeated many times. It’s something I have done myself.
This is in keeping with the tip about keeping suspense. Do not tell her what you think about her or how you feel about them before you KNOW she has feelings.
I have seen many men ruin their chances by sharing their feelings with the girl and instead just talk to girls about male things and try some type of sexy chats. This puts pressure on the girl to respond, and if she doesn’t have strong feelings, she will seek to escape this pressure.
Even if she seemed a little interested in you and you said that you were very interested in her, she will still feel pressured to love you back to protect your feelings.
Things we don’t know if we can get are what we tend to obsess about. We take things we know we can get as a given. If you can make it clear to a girl that you are available, she will find you less exciting.
Instead of declaring your love, do the next thing by taking actions just like we did before. Ask her to go on a date, get her number, or just for a kiss.
15. How to approach and strike up a conversation with a girl that you like
Many people find approaching women frightening. The more experience they have, the scarier it can be. I’ve had clients who felt they would die if they approached to talk to girls. But after training they started to like approaching girls.
How can we find the courage to approach a beautiful woman?
My answer is simple, but it takes effort.
It is also known as exposure training. This method aims to gradually expose us to the things we fear.
We start with something we find a bit scary, until it becomes less scary. Next, we move on to something more frightening.
One example is that you ask women about their time and then compliment them. Finally, you approach the woman to ask for a date. This is how confidence and courage are built to approach women.
It’s not necessary to approach girls in order to be successful with them. Online dating and Tinder are making it easier to meet women. It doesn’t take much courage to approach random women if you don’t want to.
Please comment below to share one step you took this week to be more comfortable speaking with girls.
You could ask a girl in class or at work to talk, give a compliment, request a date, attend an event, and so forth. If you are rejected, you will get a bonus star.
In the end how to talk to girls become a lot easier than one may expect.